I think that selfies are mean and they are always making fun of me and people who take selfies have pickaxes and make fun of the people that have shovels and then they go find money underground and end up turning evil and then yell holla yo bruhs and then zoom away from the quartz and play the xylophone while playing the guitar while playing the bongos while playing the violin and then they fly up to space and live on the moon and die and they get up and fly to mars and then fly back to earth and then tell someone “You there are standing there” and then that other person says “Yes yes I am how did you know that you genius” and then the dude named Bob says “I didn’t” and then Rickitickismanick said “Oh I get it man you used reverse psychology” and then Bob was just like “NO” and then everybody died and then they woke up all sweaty and then killed each other and then they all die the end wait no there's more and this is how it goes okay so Jim ate a hamburger but a dog stole it from him so he then rode his parasite from Newhamsterdamvilleburgtown to mexichinarussiausa.com//hppts.www.www.com to get a new hamburger and then the end wait here’s a cat so then I was all like deez ponies and puppies and babies but Lebron James was fighting John Cena and then they died and came alive and died and farted and came alive and then came alive and someone said “And one time I rode my purple horse to the boat and sailed to tomorrow” And then Bob who was giving advice said “Sometimes you just have to spread your wings and fly like a tortoise” and then everybody started to hop on tortoises and flew to last Wednesday but then someone ate a deer and then the deer ate a bear and then a berry at the bear and then a T-Rex ate the berry and then the ground ate the T-Rex and then the T-Rex died and didn’t die but still died but if they were to die they would have to eat Barney and Elmo and Bob The Builder but they wouldn’t because they would all die and then come back alive and my name is Bob but so is yours and so is yours and you have to be careful when forgetting stuff because someone once said “Those who forget the past are forced to repeat it” which would be a terrible thing because as someone one said “Those who forget the past are forced to repeat it” and then Harry Potter jumped out with his wand and went all “DIE” on everyone and started shouting “AVADA KEDAVRA” and killed everyone but then Spongebob came out and licked all of the dead person's faces and then they came alive and worked together to revive Voldemort so he could kill Harry but they didn’t know that Voldemort was good now and looked normal and teamed up with Harry and killed all those guys and Spongebob just in case they got in the new teams way of world domination and the pretty unicorns danced around the world okay so I have a story for you here it goes so I have a unicorn in my backyard chewing on grass and yes I know this story's fake everyone knows that grass doesn't exist but still I have a unicorn in my backyard chewing on some grass and farting rainbows and taking over the world for all I know but I won’t let him no see because I took a hot dog and smacked him across the face and said “Bad boy you're grounded” and then I buried him because I was serious about grounding him so I did and then I was all like “Chall balla y'all” and then I got grounded myself so while I was underground I dug a tunnel and ate worms and people to survive just like the time I starved to death while I was stuck in Country Mart which is totally why I am still alive and then I ran out of dirt in my tunnel and I had to use bread and I decided to lick my way out but then I got ungrounded and someone dug me up and killed me with the shovel and I saw a light and the pearly gates and I almost went through but then the gate’s guard was like “Nope wrong place” and then the elevator fell and I landed below and then Satan was like “Welcome to paradise” and then I shot him with my rainbow gun and he turned from red to rainbow color in no time at all bruh and I was like totally awsome and backflipy and everything and I ate a unicorn and then a unicorn flew out of my T.V and went all NEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIIGGH and then I went all like this and this story is totally real and now I am a pony dude and then Bob walked up and said “Hi” and I was all like “Hi” and then some dude walked up and said “Hi” and then the store owner came over and said “Shut up” because we were kind of maybe definitely not definitely screaming while we were in space so I don’t even know how he got there but anyway I have a pixy and you don’t so ha cause now I can FLY in the SKY while eating PIE and swatting FLIES as I call the FBI cause I can’t FLY so I FELL and broke my LEG and I don’t know the NUMBER for 911 so I asked if the dudes from the FBI could call 911 but then the ambulance came and said “We were watching you from three miles away and you're an idiot for climbing the Eiffel Tower and jumping off but we will put you out of your misery” and I was like “NOOOOOOO” but then they put a bandage on my knee and I said “Yay it didn’t hurt as much as I thought” and they said “Good because bandages have killed thousands” and then I was all like “Aw crap” and then I took the bandage off and then freaked out and then ate a pie and then bought some fly swatters then called the S.W.A.T team and gave them fly swatters and then they protected me from those foul smelling beasts and now I am forever in their debt and they asked me to go pick up the pizza they ordered so I did and they said “Ok now we are even” and I was like “Ok” and they ran off because an ant was in someone's kitchen and they had to go exterminate it immediately but then the ant killed all of them with it’s mad ninja skills and I was scared because I had to fight it now so I went to fight it and I died and came back alive and smacked it but then the ant army came and I was all like “TRUCE” and they were all like “Okay” and we played video games and then I got arrested and then I broke out because the jail was made of paper and I got a paper cut but then one of the guards sniped me but don’t worry because it was just a gum drop which I don’t understand but it was fun because then I robbed a bank and got caught again but I didn’t because I’m smart kind of not really definitely not am so yeah I escaped safely kind of not really definitely not am and now I’m at home and I’m eating candy and playing video games like Black Ops and Assassin's Creed and I know that I’m dieing but I won’t die with a fight so I just layed down my potato chips and let them cook in the sun even though they were already cooked and now they are burned and dead and stuff so I’m all like “LEBRON CENA” and I feel stupid and my doctor says that it's for a good reason and I agreed and said “Okey dokey” and he was all like “NO” and I said “Ok” and ran home but he followed me and shot me down but I stood back up all like “Boy you just makeded da biggestest mistake of you life” and chased him down like a pawppy dawg and killed him and then buried his skelly in my backyard and killed the witnesses and buried them in my backyard too and one day a turtle ate a train and he got big and hairy like a pig and then small and furry like a guinea pig and then he turned back into a turtle and then he turned into a basilisk and froze everyone so Dumbledore had to come and kill all of them so they wouldn’t die and then Patrick came and threw their bodies in the ocean and Dumbledore was like “Thanks” and then Patrick ate him and they were all living happily ever after and stuff so they all got killed and suddenly there was a war story by an old man and it went like this okay so “Once upon a time in a galaxy far far away” and then a kid interrupted and screamed “COPYRIGHT” and the cops came and arrested the kid for copyrighting and then the story ended the end see just like that but anyway I bet you didn’t know that you can’t spell messed up without U and ME see cause MEssed Up you get it got it good so anyway I am amazing because I’m not so I would like to see you figure that one out and I would also like to see you figure out this math problem “6%+3m-18x﹨7﹡bh＜3n+x-79m﹨21b﹡91=”okay good luck and yes it is possible I think but if you can’t figure it out then just keep reading but you would have known that because you're reading this right now And so I was all like “FISH BOMB” and you were all like “AAAHHHHHH” and I threw a tomato and then a potato and then I became the dictator of ‘Merica and then I took over the world but the resistance came so I destroyed them and then Thor came and I was all like “Oh no” and he was all like “Yeah” and then he threw his hammer and I caught it and he was surprised especially when I threw it back at his big ugly face and then his big ugly face was even bigger and uglier and then Jim came and defeated me because I defeated Jim and then I ate a big pizza and Spongebob came in and licked everyone like he did in the beginning you know and then he smelled the ground and did his annoying laugh like “Bwahahahaha” and I was like “Pew pew pew pew” because I shot him four times you know and then a sciency dude came up and was all like “Oh no there is a paradox” and so I was all like “Oh no not a pair of socks” and he was like “Dude you are not that sciency are you” and I was all like “Yep” and shouted “OFF WITH HIS HEAD” and he freaked out and so I said “Don’t worry this won’t hurt a bit” and he calmed down and so when we put him on the gueateen and then I said “It’s gonna hurt a lot” and he was all like “AHHH OHHH GOD AHHH GET ME OUT OF HERE AHHHAHAHA PLEASE” and I said “NO” and so he said “PLEASE WITH A CHERRY ON TOP OH MA GERD PLEASE I’M BEGGING YOU” and I was like “Yeah I know you're begging me” and then I gave the signal and let's just say he stopped crying and was on the ground because I let him go duh what did you think I did anyway back to the randomness so I was walking down the street and then I was told to walk faster and so I stopped and the government jumped on me and squished me because it was the whole government and so that was pretty much about five-thousand people twenty-thousand cars a bunch of secret bases and the Illuminati because everyone knows they work for the government and last but probably least a turtle because he was in the agency but anyway that was a lot of heaviness so I think I died but then the resurrected me and I was tied to a chair and probably dead but I wasn’t so I was still alive but I was questioned about why I was walking so fast and I told them “Because someone told me to” and they were all like “GASP someone must of used mind control” and so they called in the illuminati and I was like “Sup” they were like “Pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew” because they shot me twelve times for knowing their secret and then I heard a news report that went like this ‘Now on KittyKat News a Tater Tot is taking over Kroy Wen with help from a Casserole Oh no Now the Zipper started doing karate on the Geraniums Oh wait WOW This is unbelievable The Zipper and Geraniums have teamed up against the Tater Tot and Casserole and are having a death match Who will win’ and then I turned of the T.V and said “NO” because there was a chicken that said “I refuse to become nuggets” And then the evil alien was well evil and the little boy freaks out and then tries to shoot it but the alien absorbed the bullets and sent them back and the little boy was not little anymore on no for he was actually a super spy and the boy killed the alien and the boy’s mother came outside and the boy got scared and shot her and then he freaked out and shot everyone so he ran through town shooting everything he saw including a saw so he could be champion of the world till Michael Jackson came up to him and said “Dude you got to just cal...UHHG” cause the boy shot him and it was da best happy ending ever till lebron skittles showed up but it wasn’t the ending oh no because I ate the jimmy john sandwich that the ghost over there ordered and so he got mad so he killed me so I was a ghost and then he killed me again cause he was a ghost and then I was a zombie so I ate his not-brains because he didn’t have any even when he was alive and then I called the ghost busters because of some dare I accepted and so I got vacuumed up and died because I was a ghost NOT I was a person so the vacuum kinda maybe squished me and I ate all the pizza in the world so no one else could cause I am evil WHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE so I destroyed the world after making a house on mars but since I am not stupid but not smart I forgot to put oxygen up there so I went to the moon instead because everybody knows you can live on the moon without oxygen so Abe Lincoln came up to me and said “And in the end it's not the years in your life that count it's the life in your years” and I was all like “But I'm two and lonely” and so he said “Well then I would hate to be you” and I was like three inches away from punching a teddy bear but I started zooming towards earth and then I turned into a fried chicken and landed on a bird and flew back to space to ate the moon cause I’m cool like that and then I watched some movies and read some books and did some homework then I burned it all and I ate it and I said bro I am a lepican so deel wif it then Dora da explora ate patrick and I was like “Ohhhhh Nooooooo” then batman came around the corner robbing taco bell and stole all da sandwiches and farted and he was all like derp-derpity-derp and died then kermit the frog sung “when I’m through with you they’ll never find your body and even if they did all they’ll find would be teeth and I am a pony wif deliciouse tef for you face to eat and so I decided to make a website for my favourit pencil Jeff and here is da link BAM ALAM so you go and check out Jeff's site it is very handsome like him as you could see on his profile pic but anyway I wanted to eat off someone's face but I decided not to so I could eat someone's hand instead and now this is the end of the story just kidding and incase you didn't know this is all just one big run on sentence and now I am going to show you my story about what freedom means to me in all caps FREEDOM IS THE ABILITY TO NOT BE FORCED TO DO SOMETHING THAT YOU DON’T WANT TO DO BECAUSE FREEDOM IS THE ABILITY TO DO WHAT YOU TRULY WANT TO DO ALSO FREEDOM IS THE ABILITY TO CONTROL YOUR LIFE HOW YOU WANT TO AND YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANT WHEN YOU WANT HOW YOU WANT IF YOU WANT AND NO ONE CAN STOP YOU FROM ACHIEVING YOUR DREAMS AND HAVING FUN LIKE I WANNA MAKE SWORDS WHEN I GROW UP AND AIN’T NOTHIN GONNA STOP MA CAUSE AS GEORGE WASHINGTON ONCE SAID “IF THE FREEDOM OF SPEECH IS TAKEN AWAY THEN DUMB AND SILENT WE MAY BE LED LIKE SHEEP TO THE SLAUGHTER” AND AS GEORGE WASHINGTON CARVER ONCE SAID “EDUCATION IS THE KEY TO UNLOCK THE GOLDEN DOOR OF FREEDOM” AND FREEDOM IS NOT TO BE LED BY A GROUP OF PEOPLE FREEDOM IS WHEN YOU CAN GO DO BE AND HAVE WHAT YOU WANT IF YOU WANT SO YOU CAN BE DUMB IF YOU WANT AND YOU CAN EAT PIZZA AND PEACHES AND YOU CAN BE WEIRD AND YOU CAN WANT TO GIVE AWAY STUFF AND YOU CAN MAKE WHAT YOU WANT AND YOU CAN BE QUIET IF YOU WANT AND YOU CAN DO STUFF WHICH IS ILLEGAL IN SOME STATES AND GET ARRESTED IF YOU WANT SO DON’T EAT FRENCH FRIES AND AS SOMEONE ONCE SAID “BE A GOOD NEIGHBOR AND STAY OVER THERE” ALSO FREEDOM MEANS NO ONE CAN TAKE YOUR HAMBURGER AND YOUR RIGHTS AND NO ONE CAN TAKE YOUR RIGHTS SO JUMP FOR YOUR BED OR IS IT RUN FOR YOUR LIFE I REALLY DON'T KNOW BUT THE VETERANS RISKED THEIR OWN LIFE FOR OURS AND THAT TAKES A LOT OF BRAVERY AND CONFIDENCE TO DO THEY ALSO LEFT THEIR FAMILIES AND FRIENDS AND HAMBURGERS AND YOU NEVER LEAVE YOUR HAMBURGERS BEHIND BECAUSE IF YOU DO THE WILL EAT YOU JUST LIKE TURTLES BECAUSE TURTLES ARE VERY DANGEROUS IN FACT MORE DANGEROUS THAN WAR AND WAR CAN KILL YOU AND MANY PEOPLE DIED FIGHTING WARS BECAUSE THE WORLD IS A CRAZY PLACE WITH CRAZY PEOPLE LIKE ME AND PEOPLE DECLARE WAR ON AMERICA AND OTHER COUNTRIES AND THEY ARE CRAZY UNLIKE VETERANS WHO ARE BRAVE AND AWESOME AND NO ONE CAN DENY IT BECAUSE I PLACED A CURSE ON THE WORLD AND IT WILL MAKE THEM JUMP AND RUB THEIR STOMACH AND PAT THEIR HEAD FOR ALL ETERNITY and so that is my story how did you like it yeah I bet I know what you are thinking you are thinking “dude you should be called Mr. Bomb cause you just blew my mind” and so I say “Thank you thank you very much” and then I was all like “0000100000000110111110111000000100110011000000100101110000001010001000001010000010011010000111100101” and then the other person was like “OK” and guess what I have a story for you here I don’t like class because I could choke on legos here let me explain class rhymes with pass and you can pass people on the highway and people are dumb and dumb rhymes with thumb and a thumb is one of your five fingers and five times two equals ten and ten rhymes with pen and pens make a noise and noise rhymes with toys and toys are fun and fun is most commonly found in kids and kids rhymes with lids and lids open and openings allow things to go through and things rhymes with dings and dings minus the letter “s” equals ding and ding rhymes with fling and if you fling something then it might land in a pit and pits are deadly and when you die there is usually blood and blood rhymes with stud and studs are on legos and you can choke on legos and that is why I don't like class and so I go type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type and then I made a story like dis ‘There was once a baloney unicorn that enjoyed communicating he was interested in eating all the forms of communication such as channel sender receiver and feedback just to name a few and then one day he tried to swallow message whole and started choking when out of nowhere the space gerbil came and persuaded the yellow tree bull to run into the unicorn to stop it from choking so the bull agreed for some Scooby doo snacks and then the baloney unicorn and yellow tree bull had a formal communication although the space gerbil was highly informal and they talked about communication direction written and oral communication how to build relationships and self-esteem and how to obtain or share information and that was a story about how a yellow tree bull a balcony unicorn and a space gerbil built goodwill and image’ so deal with it